Today I want to talk to you about going Brown, it’s the opposite of going Green and there is a very good reason for it, in fact there are at least 5 good reasons for it and I’m hoping you will understand how evil Green can be.
Reason 1: Green is against YOU
I’m not making this up, in fact Green is costing you money right now and it is also costing you time, the worst part about it is that Green is making you feel guilty about it. I’ll bet you have no idea what I’m talking about, so let me give you an example.
Have you stayed in a hotel lately? Did you notice that they ask YOU to help save the world by hanging up your towels? Have you ever thought about what was really going on here? Let me tell you…
If you hang the towels you say to them, “Don’t wash these” and they don’t which means they don’t need to hire as many people because they don’t have as much work to do to keep up the hotel rooms. Do they save any water? Probably not because the weren’t going to wash your towels separately from everyone elses anyway. So all you’ve really done is put someone out of work, and you didn’t even get a break on the hotel room for hanging up your towels did you…
Maybe feeling guilty is the proper way to feel in this situation.
Reason 2: Green costs jobs
This is shocking I know, but as you saw in the last example going Green puts hotel workers out of jobs, just like using alternative fuels does. Wow, that was quite a transition there, but think about it for a second…
OK, time’s up. Here’s how it works… you and everyone else go Green and switch to some sort of Corn based fuel. Oil workers are out of jobs (which you think is so great for the environment) and Corn futures are through the roof. You think those former oil workers are going to move to the Corn industry? It takes far fewer people to grow corn than it does to discover and recover oil from underground and here’s a shocker… both are natural fuels, in other words they are both ORGANIC.
Think about any Green option and there is someone that is out of a job if everone goes Green. Not to mention that there are quite a few Green options that could not make it without the guilt pressure you to go Green in the first place. Want an example? How about compostable trash bags, why not just skip the bag and save the money? Oh no, your biodegradable trash might spill and polute the environment, so buy a biodegradable bag to put all your biodegradable stuff in, and put the plastic guys out of business. (Plastic is biodegrade by the way, leave one of those plastic grocery bags in the sun and rain for a while and see for yourself)
Reason 3: Only YOU have to be Green
Tell me you’ve noticed this, at least then I’ll know you are paying attention to the world around you. You are told to keep your Air Conditioning at 78 degrees to conserve energy but walk into your local public building like a court house, library even your local mall and it’s not 78 degrees, it’s much cooler.
Ever have water restrictions? We have them permanently (no matter how much rain we get), we are assigned two days a week that we are allowed to water and we can’t ever water our lawns between 10:00 am and 4:00 pm. Now drive through town and you will see the sprinklers on all the medians and public right of ways blasting water all over the street in the heat of the day every day. It’s even funnier if there is a sprinkler head that’s busted and there you get to see the urban gyser spraying the very water you are not allowed to use all over the street and right down the storm drain.
You know what I’m talking about and if you don’t you will see it the next time you pass it. So why do you have to be Green if the people telling you to be Green aren’t? Because you are wasting the resourses they want to use.
(As a side note, the best time to water your lawn is 3:00 am, it’s cooler then and the water has plenty of time to sit before the sun starts evaporating it away, but best of all you aren’t competing with the City for water pressure!)
Reason 4: You can’t “save” energy
I’m not going to go into the physics of anything here, but once you produce electricity you can’t store it and save it for later. So if they are going to produce it we certainly shouldn’t waste it! Besides, there’s no way they are going to produce less electricity, it would cost jobs right? (see Reason 2) So they are not going to go Green (see Reason 3) and why should you have to suffer by not having sufficient lighting or a comfortable temperature in your home.
Argue all you want, this is a brilliant reason for going Brown! I’ll bet you just turned up your screen brightness so you don’t have to strain to read this incredible list!
Go ahead and turn on your ceiling fan while you’re at it, a little breeze will help lower your blood pressure. (OK, maybe not but it’s nice anyway, it will help even out the temperature in the room.)
Reason 5: Fuel Efficient Drivers get better parking than Handicapped Drivers?
This is no joke, I was at Best Buy yesterday and noticed this sign:
These were once Handicapped spots when Circuit City was here, but now they are Fuel Efficient spots. Screw the handicapped, let’s put the Green people up front!
Actually I agree with this one, mainly because I think the Green people are more handicapped than those with legitimate medical conditions. But going Brown meant I needed to make my statement so this is how I participated:
And that’s my rant for today on going Brown. I hope you enjoyed it and I would love to hear your comments on going Brown!
**Special Bonus Material**
The energy argument from “someone who knows more” is heart breaking because it is so sad to have a name like that and truly not live up to it. Here is more information for you Someone (I hope you don’t mind if I capitalize your name) maybe this will help you to understand:
The Average Household Energy use in the US uses approximately 10,000 kWh of electricity per year. – AltEnToday.com
After considering that number for a while I have concluded that your Green options are no good… bad even, here is my breakdown.
Solar Panels Kill Plant Life
Their highest performance solar panel has an output of 230 watts (peek), at a cost of $1,300 per panel. – Solar Power Authority.com
It is a panel of solar cells 5.12 ft x 2.62 ft or 13.42 square feet. So giving you 10 hours a day, every day of peek performance you would need 4,348 of these panels to power the average home at a cost of $5,652,400 and that would require 58,350 square feet or 1.3 acres of land for the solar panels. If my average power bill is $250/month that would mean I could pay my electric bill for 1,884 YEARS before I had matched the cost of the Solar Panels.
My local power plant is coal powered, it results in the employment of coal miners, factory workers, heavy equipment operators, railroad crew and many many more. It also provides enough power for the entire community every single day and puts out steam and carbon dioxide as a byproduct, both of which are good for the environment. So instead of all of that good for the economy and the environment you want to put all of those people out of work and cover the land with solar panels? There are 1.6 Million people living in Manhattan, should we set asside 1 Million acres to power the city, or maybe 2.2 Million acres for the 5 burroughs? That’s the size of Yellowstone National Park by the way, where should we make room for the plant life?
Wind Turbines are a Cute Trick
“As cool as wind turbines are, I’ve got to tell you that I don’t think wind energy will ever supply more than a small percentage of our (human race) electricity needs. You just can’t get that much energy out of given amount of space. You’d have to have them just about everywhere.” – Flying Turtle.org
Yeah, not much else to say here… you’re relying on the possibility of wind for your every day power. A dam would be much more of an intelligent option and would create a beautiful lake for people and wildlife to enjoy. Not to mention that it is so much fun to say and there are so many dam jokes to make people laugh!
Wind turbines…
Seriously, you’re back to the towel thing again?
By not washing the towels you put someone out of a job and you are not saving anything but the water bill for the hotel. The water isn’t forever used up because you do a load of towels, it soaks back into the ground and eventually makes it back into the clean water supply just like the rain water that falls on your head, or the tears you cry because I refuse to be Green.
OK, sorry, that last line was mean… but it was funny. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.
But jobs are lost with going Green, there is no one supplying resources to produce the energy, the maintenance is minimal, the manufacture is much less intensive and the results are less impressive with all Green Technologies…
Wait a minute! That’s it! GREEN IS LAZY! Less work = Less output = Green!
That’s not how this became the greatest Country on Earth, so maybe Green is just Anti-American.